Guo Dai Lai

There are milestone moments that people go through in life.  Things like starting school, graduation, first job, first kiss, first love.  Most people will at some time or another go through these different events in their life, but there are other milestones that seem more culturally specific.  These seem to be harder to deal with, as the different expectations, understanding and excitement seems to impact how the events are experienced and enjoyed.  As Veronica and I grew closer, I wanted things between us to be more serious and so I asked her the question that is asked in cultures around the world.  This was a milestone moment in our lives.  What followed though were some moments that I was less aware and certainly less prepared for.  Part of the Chinese (and in particular Cantonese) culture for any engagement involves a series of fairly elaborate rituals involving gift giving as a part of a "bride price".  I'm sure it all stemmed traditionally from more a need to show favour and worth (which it seems may still be the case for some), but for me it was definitely more of a show of respect to Veronica's family.

It wasn't something I knew much about.  I was shocked by the amount of items which were considered to be a requirement.  There were fruits, cakes, dried seafood, wines and other assorted random items which were part of the delivery to the family.  Everything was also wrapped up extravagantly in the bright reds that are a part of all things festive and happy in Chinese culture.  Even the process of delivery itself was a bit odd to me, as it couldn't be "me" who delivered everything.  Instead I needed to find a friend who would help me as some sort of representative or herald.  Once everything was accepted, I was allowed in.  There there were further exchanges of gifts to each of the members of the household.  It was a happy occasion, and everyone had dressed for the occasion.  Photos were taken, more gifts were given back to me and then tea and cakes were served.  There was something odd about having to go and give the presents and money to Veronica's family.  I wasn't used to this idea and for me, it was at odds with the idea of a modern world with both men and women equal.  It all seemed to be a bit outdated, but then again I guess most traditions usually are.